Have you ever wondered if what you feel is really yours, or if it was shaped by the world around you? Emotions may seem like natural, automatic reactions, but in reality, they are deeply influenced by the culture and society we grow up in. From childhood, we learn what is “appropriate” to feel, how to express it, and even when we should hide it.
The cultural script of emotions
Imagine being at a funeral. In some cultures, grief is expressed loudly, with crying, shouting, even singing. In others, silence and restraint are seen as signs of respect. Both are ways of expressing the same emotion—sadness—but filtered through cultural expectations. This is what psychologists call emotional norms: invisible rules that tell us how to feel in each situation.
Goffman and the stage of emotions
The sociologist Erving Goffman compared social life to a theater. According to him, every time we interact with others, we perform a role. Emotions, then, are part of this performance. For example, you might smile politely at work even if you’re angry, because the “script” demands professionalism. This doesn’t mean your emotions are fake, but that you’ve learned how to adapt them to the stage you’re on.
Emotions across cultures
Anthropologist Catherine Lutz studied how emotions vary from one culture to another. In some Pacific islands, for example, showing anger is seen as dangerous and selfish, while in other societies it’s accepted as a sign of strength. These differences reveal that emotions are not only biological but also cultural. They remind us that what we consider “normal” is not universal—it depends on where we are and who we’re with.
Why does this matter to you?
Understanding the cultural side of emotions can change the way you see yourself and others. Next time you feel guilty for not reacting “as expected,” ask yourself: is this really about me, or about the rules I’ve learned? And when you see someone expressing emotions differently, remember—it may simply be a different cultural script.
Discover more on our channel
On our channel PsyLife, you’ll find a video that explores these ideas in a clear and visual way. From Goffman’s theory of performance to Catherine Lutz’s research, you’ll see how society shapes not only what we feel but also how we live those emotions.
